This entry will complete the first month of writing about my journey in 2010 toward living a life centered on Christ and my dedication to becoming a better person. I have shared hopes, dreams, actions and stories that have helped guide me along my way. However, there has been nothing more powerful than the strength God has provided through my commitment to living a life consumed by him.
I am proud to say I was part of the message series at church today entitled, "Fork in the Road." Everyone has a story that can somehow be improved through defining a relationship with God and working to improve their life by making a conscious effort to accept and obey the guidance of the holy spirit. I realize that it can be troubling to identify and acknowledge the things in life that are holding us back from receiving God's best, but I also know that making the decision to confront these strongholds will deliver us into a world without regret. God wants everyone to feel joy and lead fulfilled lives...
Joel Osteen wrote that 'Happiness is a decision you make. Not an emotion you feel'. No matter where we may find ourselves, we have the ability to transform our life into an existence that breathes joy into our souls and the world surrounding us. It is an amazing feeling to know that I have been forgiven for my past mistakes and have been given the blessing to follow my hopes and dreams. I find relief with my new lifestyle trusting that I will never have to look back on my life with the weight of regret on my shoulders asking "What could I have done differently?"
At some point, we all will come to a 'fork in the road' that offers the chance to decide which way we are going to go in the future. We must use this opportunity to repent for our past actions and offer all that we have to give toward living the rest of our life in the light of God's grace. The path may not be easy to follow, but the challenges along the way provide the opportunity to experience pure joy - the ultimate reward.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Play Ball!
Growing up as a child, I sincerely loved playing sports and was drawn to the competitive nature involved with the daily games held throughout the subdivision. Some of my most happy memories involve playing baseball in the street and football between the houses. I was just like many other kids with hopes and dreams of becoming the next star professional athlete... I remember always picturing myself in the world series hitting that game winning home run in the bottom of the ninth. Still to this day if I shut my eyes and think hard enough, I can immediately recall that feeling of hope and anticipation for the future.
Now here I am 20 years later chasing new hopes and dreams with a completely different perspective on life and what my future has in store for me. Even though I am not Alex Rodriguez, I have been blessed with many gifts and am grateful for everything in my life. However, I feel like something is missing and constantly feel the urge to put more effort into living life passionately. As I continue on this journey of change, I truly want to listen to and follow my heart with expectations that it will help find the life I have always wanted.
After thinking about things that make me happy, I decided that my love for the game of baseball is something I can no longer deny. I have been praying about my desire for it to re-enter my life... and I am amazed at how God has started to answer those prayers.
This morning I met with a coach of an adult baseball team I found through the newspaper and worked out with his team. It turns out that the work out was more like a try-out and afterwards he asked if I would like to join the team! He then continued to tell me about the need for umpires and asked if I would be interested in attending a conference in two weeks that would allow me to become certified as an umpire. I also saw my nephew this afternoon and think that he may want to play tee ball giving me the opportunity to coach! So needless to say I am so excited to get back to the diamond and look forward to playing, coaching and even getting paid to umpire!
It is amazing how just this morning finding a way back into the game of baseball seemed somewhat out of reach and now, not even 12 hours later, several opportunities have entered my life. It just really goes to show the power of prayer and determination in life... and I am so glad that in another twenty years, I will be able to look back on even more baseball memories never having to regret not doing something I love so much.
Now here I am 20 years later chasing new hopes and dreams with a completely different perspective on life and what my future has in store for me. Even though I am not Alex Rodriguez, I have been blessed with many gifts and am grateful for everything in my life. However, I feel like something is missing and constantly feel the urge to put more effort into living life passionately. As I continue on this journey of change, I truly want to listen to and follow my heart with expectations that it will help find the life I have always wanted.
After thinking about things that make me happy, I decided that my love for the game of baseball is something I can no longer deny. I have been praying about my desire for it to re-enter my life... and I am amazed at how God has started to answer those prayers.
This morning I met with a coach of an adult baseball team I found through the newspaper and worked out with his team. It turns out that the work out was more like a try-out and afterwards he asked if I would like to join the team! He then continued to tell me about the need for umpires and asked if I would be interested in attending a conference in two weeks that would allow me to become certified as an umpire. I also saw my nephew this afternoon and think that he may want to play tee ball giving me the opportunity to coach! So needless to say I am so excited to get back to the diamond and look forward to playing, coaching and even getting paid to umpire!
It is amazing how just this morning finding a way back into the game of baseball seemed somewhat out of reach and now, not even 12 hours later, several opportunities have entered my life. It just really goes to show the power of prayer and determination in life... and I am so glad that in another twenty years, I will be able to look back on even more baseball memories never having to regret not doing something I love so much.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Reactions
There are certain things in life that have the ability to move directly to the core of a human soul creating memories that get forever etched into the recollection of our existence. These moments can happen at anytime and often show up when they are least expected... but make such an impact on our lives that we become forever changed.
Throughout the course of my lifetime, there has been inspiring teachers, motivational coaches, touching movies, and unforgettable events. I wish I could say that everything has been positive, but unfortunately there has also been unavoidable tragedy, negative people, and horrific life experiences that casted devastating repercussions over my life. It is a combination of these experiences that truly shaped who I am today, but I truly believe I could have been able to decrease the impact of certain negative things that happened in my life by reacting differently.
I realize this may seem like I am dwelling on the past declaring could have...would have...should have's, but honestly I just want to stress the importance of putting emphasis on evaluating attitudes and actions while reacting to tough situations in life. In the past, I have been blinded from God's guidance during stressful times and eventually found myself learning 'the hard way' for many of my 'life lessons'. When I find myself getting caught up in the moment, I want to be able to recognize changes in my behavior and deal with it in a way that allows me to learn more efficiently.
I admit that there are many things that have happened in my life in which I had absolutely no control. However, I always possessed the ability to decide how to handle each and every situation. Moving forward into the future, I am committed to minimizing the drastic consequences that can result from allowing the seriousness of certain situations to cloud my judgment.
The great C.S. Lewis once said, "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." Over the course of my lifetime, I have found this to be very true... but I also know that with the right reactions, I can change how I learn.
Throughout the course of my lifetime, there has been inspiring teachers, motivational coaches, touching movies, and unforgettable events. I wish I could say that everything has been positive, but unfortunately there has also been unavoidable tragedy, negative people, and horrific life experiences that casted devastating repercussions over my life. It is a combination of these experiences that truly shaped who I am today, but I truly believe I could have been able to decrease the impact of certain negative things that happened in my life by reacting differently.
I realize this may seem like I am dwelling on the past declaring could have...would have...should have's, but honestly I just want to stress the importance of putting emphasis on evaluating attitudes and actions while reacting to tough situations in life. In the past, I have been blinded from God's guidance during stressful times and eventually found myself learning 'the hard way' for many of my 'life lessons'. When I find myself getting caught up in the moment, I want to be able to recognize changes in my behavior and deal with it in a way that allows me to learn more efficiently.
I admit that there are many things that have happened in my life in which I had absolutely no control. However, I always possessed the ability to decide how to handle each and every situation. Moving forward into the future, I am committed to minimizing the drastic consequences that can result from allowing the seriousness of certain situations to cloud my judgment.
The great C.S. Lewis once said, "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn." Over the course of my lifetime, I have found this to be very true... but I also know that with the right reactions, I can change how I learn.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Baby Steps
When looking for areas of improvement, I often encounter a barrier that separates thinking about change and making it happen. I find that I am bombarded with stress often feeling overwhelmed by everything life seems to throw at me. It is at these times that I conquer this anxiety by remembering that God would never give me too much to handle and provides all that I need to succeed. It also helps to remind myself that life is a journey - not a short weekend trip. By being patient and showing a steady dedication, I know I will be able to overcome any challenge and fulfill whatever my heart desires.
I can not help but to think about the movie "What about Bob?" and Bill Murray's use of 'baby steps' to conquer all his unbelievable phobias. Throughout the movie, Bob was able to move throughout his day making gradual progress toward defeating obstacles that once seemed impossible to overcome. Bob was able to see that he had the strength and courage to confront his fears and become victorious - but of course not without destroying Dr. Leo Marvin's life.
The use of these 'baby steps' in life can be a wonderful way to look at implementing change. No matter how overwhelming a task or situation may seem, there is always a way to break it down and work through it little by little. As the pace of life seems to increase, so will the amount of baby steps resulting in the huge positive change that once seemed too far out of reach.
I have faith that every baby step in the right direction will accumulate over time and lead me to living a much more rewarding lifestyle. I refuse to let the overwhelming nature of life hold me back from making my way toward a more positive future... taking one baby step at a time.
I can not help but to think about the movie "What about Bob?" and Bill Murray's use of 'baby steps' to conquer all his unbelievable phobias. Throughout the movie, Bob was able to move throughout his day making gradual progress toward defeating obstacles that once seemed impossible to overcome. Bob was able to see that he had the strength and courage to confront his fears and become victorious - but of course not without destroying Dr. Leo Marvin's life.
The use of these 'baby steps' in life can be a wonderful way to look at implementing change. No matter how overwhelming a task or situation may seem, there is always a way to break it down and work through it little by little. As the pace of life seems to increase, so will the amount of baby steps resulting in the huge positive change that once seemed too far out of reach.
I have faith that every baby step in the right direction will accumulate over time and lead me to living a much more rewarding lifestyle. I refuse to let the overwhelming nature of life hold me back from making my way toward a more positive future... taking one baby step at a time.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Trusting God
Today I gave a video testimonial on the journey of my life for a message series at church called "Fork in the Road". It was quite nerve-wrecking to have to recall my past and speak candidly about the good and bad knowing that it will be viewed by the entire congregation. I did my best to calm my nerves and tell my story in a way that will hopefully provide inspiration to people out there that may be facing similar battles with addiction and depression.
I was asked if I would be willing to give a testimony early last week and prayed for God to guide me in my decision. It would have been much easier for me to have denied the opportunity, but ultimately I believe that God wanted me to put all my effort into it. I trust that the video might be able to really reach someone that may need help and provide hope for a way out of a negative lifestyle.
Now that I have completed the testimonial, I have been running the experience through my head over and over again. I really hope it turns out well... it was quite different having two cameras in my face while attempting to share some of the most personal stories of my life. Even though it was tough, it has provided me with a great amount of closure on that past lifestyle and really reinforced just how far I have come in my journey of change. I can see clearly all the wonderful things God has done to transform me into the positive and productive person I am today... and I can feel God smiling down at me while saying, "Thanks for trusting me!"
I was asked if I would be willing to give a testimony early last week and prayed for God to guide me in my decision. It would have been much easier for me to have denied the opportunity, but ultimately I believe that God wanted me to put all my effort into it. I trust that the video might be able to really reach someone that may need help and provide hope for a way out of a negative lifestyle.
Now that I have completed the testimonial, I have been running the experience through my head over and over again. I really hope it turns out well... it was quite different having two cameras in my face while attempting to share some of the most personal stories of my life. Even though it was tough, it has provided me with a great amount of closure on that past lifestyle and really reinforced just how far I have come in my journey of change. I can see clearly all the wonderful things God has done to transform me into the positive and productive person I am today... and I can feel God smiling down at me while saying, "Thanks for trusting me!"
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Developing Positive Habits
Every person is capable of producing both positive and negative thoughts and will experience results in life that correspond with the type of thoughts they allow to filter into reality through their actions. By putting effort into living a life that promotes love, peace and kindness, a person has a much better chance at experiencing a happy and fulfilling lifestyle. On the contrary, living life angry, belligerent and impatient can make someone much more vulnerable to experiencing an unproductive and stressful lifestyle.
I was reading an article that was reporting on a study that ninety percent of a person's everyday behavior was habitual. As I put more thought into this idea, I could see that from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment my head hits the pillow most of my day was all part of a routine. Connecting my desire to live a positive lifestyle with the habitual nature of being human, I could see the importance of correcting negative behaviors and establishing more positive habits in order to implement positive change in my life.
In order to get started, I needed to put some time and effort into identifying my daily habits. I looked at behaviors throughout my day and found that I was very habitual in areas dealing with my cleanliness, diet/exercise and entertainment. After making a concrete list, I was able to label each as positive or negative and then reflected on each so that I could decide whether I should eliminate, cut back, continue or increase the behavior in the future.
By looking for ways to improve my habits, I believe I have found a more efficient way to becoming a more productive and successful person... I just need to stay committed to practicing these new and improved behaviors and in time they too will become habits.
I was reading an article that was reporting on a study that ninety percent of a person's everyday behavior was habitual. As I put more thought into this idea, I could see that from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment my head hits the pillow most of my day was all part of a routine. Connecting my desire to live a positive lifestyle with the habitual nature of being human, I could see the importance of correcting negative behaviors and establishing more positive habits in order to implement positive change in my life.
In order to get started, I needed to put some time and effort into identifying my daily habits. I looked at behaviors throughout my day and found that I was very habitual in areas dealing with my cleanliness, diet/exercise and entertainment. After making a concrete list, I was able to label each as positive or negative and then reflected on each so that I could decide whether I should eliminate, cut back, continue or increase the behavior in the future.
By looking for ways to improve my habits, I believe I have found a more efficient way to becoming a more productive and successful person... I just need to stay committed to practicing these new and improved behaviors and in time they too will become habits.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Conquering Strongholds
Today I went to a wake for a friend who was taken from this earth prematurely. We went way back and I will always remember him through wonderful childhood memories of playground drama, Nintendo victories and mischievous sleep overs. I wish I could say I was there for him throughout the last couple of years, but the truth is that we had lost touch. I trust that he left this world knowing he was loved and appreciated. I pray for him and his family in this time of true sorrow... the world has lost a wonderful person.
I set out to write this blog to report on my journey of change with expectations of sharing happy and exciting events with hopes that they would provide positive inspiration on a daily basis. However, the loss of this friend brings up a dark side of life that is prevalent in today's world and needs to be discussed in hopes that the evilness will someday be conquered.
Addiction and the awful things that surround this disease claimed my friend's life and threaten many others every day. I am forever grateful for the work of God in my life and the strength he has provided to me over the past 18 months to help free myself from the chains of addiction. Drugs and alcohol had literally taken control of my existence and were allowing the devil to carry out his evil intentions. In order to stop this misery, I had to take a good look at my life and work to release the strongholds that were keeping me from receiving God's glory.
My road to recovery began by acknowledging that the Devil had strongholds set up in my mind that needed to be broken with a relentless dedication to restoring hope. I had been completely destroyed mentally after years of abuse that resulted in a build up of negative thoughts and feelings. With the help of the Lord, I simply decided to think only positive thoughts and with each passing day improved to the point where I was able to accept the help I needed to recover.
After surviving the initial battle, I vowed to never give up and continued taking back my life from the devil one day at a time keeping faith that God would provide me with all the strength I needed to succeed. I prayed everyday for guidance to stay committed to recovery and took advantage of every opportunity to reach out and help others. I allowed the holy spirit to take root deep inside my heart and made the conscious decision to live life under its guidance.
As I keep seeking transformation, God continues answering my prayers by relentlessly powering my positive attitude and constantly bringing people and things into my life that make me a better person. Over the past year, I have been able to shift my concentration to some other strongholds and will constantly work to bring more of God's glory into my life. I realize that this incessant battle is far from over, but I feel like I am winning the fight... and strive to use every new day as an opportunity to show God how thankful I am to be alive.
I set out to write this blog to report on my journey of change with expectations of sharing happy and exciting events with hopes that they would provide positive inspiration on a daily basis. However, the loss of this friend brings up a dark side of life that is prevalent in today's world and needs to be discussed in hopes that the evilness will someday be conquered.
Addiction and the awful things that surround this disease claimed my friend's life and threaten many others every day. I am forever grateful for the work of God in my life and the strength he has provided to me over the past 18 months to help free myself from the chains of addiction. Drugs and alcohol had literally taken control of my existence and were allowing the devil to carry out his evil intentions. In order to stop this misery, I had to take a good look at my life and work to release the strongholds that were keeping me from receiving God's glory.
My road to recovery began by acknowledging that the Devil had strongholds set up in my mind that needed to be broken with a relentless dedication to restoring hope. I had been completely destroyed mentally after years of abuse that resulted in a build up of negative thoughts and feelings. With the help of the Lord, I simply decided to think only positive thoughts and with each passing day improved to the point where I was able to accept the help I needed to recover.
After surviving the initial battle, I vowed to never give up and continued taking back my life from the devil one day at a time keeping faith that God would provide me with all the strength I needed to succeed. I prayed everyday for guidance to stay committed to recovery and took advantage of every opportunity to reach out and help others. I allowed the holy spirit to take root deep inside my heart and made the conscious decision to live life under its guidance.
As I keep seeking transformation, God continues answering my prayers by relentlessly powering my positive attitude and constantly bringing people and things into my life that make me a better person. Over the past year, I have been able to shift my concentration to some other strongholds and will constantly work to bring more of God's glory into my life. I realize that this incessant battle is far from over, but I feel like I am winning the fight... and strive to use every new day as an opportunity to show God how thankful I am to be alive.
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