I realize that the list of those people I have hurt or let down in this life is much longer than I could ever think. I know that it would include the obvious close friends and family, but I also am aware that there would be others on this list that I never even cared enough about to ask their name. As I sit here to write a sincere apology, what is resting upon my heart I send out to everyone with love, whoever you may be.
This apology is not a plea for forgiveness. It is not meant to set right the wrongs that I have committed or to make the things I have done easier to deal with as I go forward in this life. I am only trying to offer my deepest regret for not being able to see my existence as it was truly meant to be earlier in my journey. I am putting forth with the utmost sincerity the feelings I have inside about how my neglect to living the way I knew I should have been living may have negatively impacted you as our paths crossed.
I intend for this entry to carry a message of hope. As I spent time this morning thinking about specific hurtful instances and visualizing disappointed faces with certain memories, my intentions shifted away from the pain and more toward prayer for healing. Moving from recollections of fear and remorse, I was lifted up by an internal sense of gratitude for the opportunity to go forward with a focus dedicated to fulfilling a greater purpose far more important than the distant past.
Today I am reminded that I live my life far from perfect, but I trust as I stay centered around faith that I will be guided in a direction that will allow me to show those who enter my life that we are all serving one another in an effort to bring glory to the one true God.
To all whom I have hurt, I am truly sorry for how my selfish actions may have negatively impacted your life. These situations from my past have become forever part of my story, and despite how much I would like to forget I will use them as I give all of my heart to becoming the person I was created to be... and for that I am eternally grateful.
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"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a rightous man is powerful and effective." - James 5:16
Friday, May 6, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wrinkled Paper... Faded Ink... All Heart.
I was cleaning out my car when I came across a pile of wrinkled up pieces of paper. They were the many random thoughts that I had decided to jot down as I was on my way from here to there. As I read through this pile of notes, each and every one brought back the same powerful raw emotion I was feeling when I was first motivated to capture them on paper... and I am so grateful that the spirit inside of me was able to shine through in such a way. This morning I was inspired to share...
Life can go fast. Slow it down. Concentrate on what is important. Simplify. Pray. Chase what is in your heart. Resist temptation. Conquer the overwhelming. Do not be afraid to get lost, but pull yourself back with periodic reflection. Anchor yourself to God and let the Holy Spirit guide you toward his destiny for you. Arrive at your end knowing you did everything you could do. Smile. Praise God.
The paper... wrinkled... my hand writing... faded and hard to read... the meaning behind them... directly from the heart. I sincerely hope these words may impact your day as they did mine.
To the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ.
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Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. - 2 Corinthians 4:16
Life can go fast. Slow it down. Concentrate on what is important. Simplify. Pray. Chase what is in your heart. Resist temptation. Conquer the overwhelming. Do not be afraid to get lost, but pull yourself back with periodic reflection. Anchor yourself to God and let the Holy Spirit guide you toward his destiny for you. Arrive at your end knowing you did everything you could do. Smile. Praise God.
The paper... wrinkled... my hand writing... faded and hard to read... the meaning behind them... directly from the heart. I sincerely hope these words may impact your day as they did mine.
To the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. - 2 Corinthians 4:16
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Living Breathing Potential
We all have it inside of us. It grows when we grow and disappears when we turn away from what is within our heart. It accompanies us in everything we do... in every thought... in every decision... in every action... we carry living breathing potential. It's there just waiting behind the scenes for the opportunity to help us bring out our own unique, something special into this world.
I truly believe that we were all meant to flourish. We were given abilities and talents to accomplish things yet unseen, and in order to achieve these hidden results we must rely on the unseen potential that we harbor underneath reluctancy and hurt. We must be able to see past anything holding us back and utilize this intangible power to become the amazing confident one of a kind person we were created to be.
This morning I found myself remembering my days running cross country in middle school. Even though I was blessed with athletic ability, running long distances always gave me a challenge. However, I stuck with it accepting that I may not be the best. I would show up and run... settling for middle of the pack results until one Saturday morning when I was influenced by something deep inside.
I remember the sun shining through the bus windows that morning as the team made its way to the biggest invitational of the year. During that longer than usual drive, I discovered I would be running in the "B" race. I had never been a "B" in anything that I had done, and it definitely made me think about quitting. Instead of giving up, I made a decision to cross the finish line first... I was determined to win.
I ran as hard as I could later that day for the entire race. I left the pack of other "B" racers with a sprint and didn't stop until I broke the tape waiting for me at the finish line. I did it... I won the race... and even though my body was in pain beyond belief... I remember feeling a sense of joy unlike any other. I had given my all and allowed the potential I had always had inside to shine.
It turns out that my time for that "B" race would have placed me in the top ten for the actual invitational. Before my effort that day, I had not been able to be in the top ten of my team let alone a huge invitational.
Who would have thought that I had it in me? Why had I not been able to reach that potential before this ever inspiring "B" race? What was holding me back then... what may be holding me back now?
There are so many things that can keep us from experiencing the joy thats just waiting for us to enjoy. It is up to us to be able to look beyond what we may think is keeping us from it, and rely on a force more powerful than our natural abilities to carry us to our future.
There is no need to dream... we are called to believe. No matter how hard it may be, we must be able to trust what we know is right and take that first step toward our true potential. We were meant to accomplish great things... to flourish beyond our dreams... beyond what we thought possible.
------------------------------------
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Josh Wilson "I Refuse"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbH0IWZL05s
I truly believe that we were all meant to flourish. We were given abilities and talents to accomplish things yet unseen, and in order to achieve these hidden results we must rely on the unseen potential that we harbor underneath reluctancy and hurt. We must be able to see past anything holding us back and utilize this intangible power to become the amazing confident one of a kind person we were created to be.
This morning I found myself remembering my days running cross country in middle school. Even though I was blessed with athletic ability, running long distances always gave me a challenge. However, I stuck with it accepting that I may not be the best. I would show up and run... settling for middle of the pack results until one Saturday morning when I was influenced by something deep inside.
I remember the sun shining through the bus windows that morning as the team made its way to the biggest invitational of the year. During that longer than usual drive, I discovered I would be running in the "B" race. I had never been a "B" in anything that I had done, and it definitely made me think about quitting. Instead of giving up, I made a decision to cross the finish line first... I was determined to win.
I ran as hard as I could later that day for the entire race. I left the pack of other "B" racers with a sprint and didn't stop until I broke the tape waiting for me at the finish line. I did it... I won the race... and even though my body was in pain beyond belief... I remember feeling a sense of joy unlike any other. I had given my all and allowed the potential I had always had inside to shine.
It turns out that my time for that "B" race would have placed me in the top ten for the actual invitational. Before my effort that day, I had not been able to be in the top ten of my team let alone a huge invitational.
Who would have thought that I had it in me? Why had I not been able to reach that potential before this ever inspiring "B" race? What was holding me back then... what may be holding me back now?
There are so many things that can keep us from experiencing the joy thats just waiting for us to enjoy. It is up to us to be able to look beyond what we may think is keeping us from it, and rely on a force more powerful than our natural abilities to carry us to our future.
There is no need to dream... we are called to believe. No matter how hard it may be, we must be able to trust what we know is right and take that first step toward our true potential. We were meant to accomplish great things... to flourish beyond our dreams... beyond what we thought possible.
------------------------------------
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Josh Wilson "I Refuse"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbH0IWZL05s
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Searching for Opportunity
This world that we live in sure does give us plenty of opportunity to grow. Unfortunately, this chance to become better more often than not requires a certain degree of pain and hardship. This reality has shown up in my life time and time again... requiring the innate sense of survival I was born with to persevere. As I look back at all the experiences that have helped shape who I am today, I can only be grateful for the ability to overcome... but part of me can't help but to also reflect on where I may have come up short of making the most out of what was right in front of me.
When was I so blinded by my selfishness that I let an opportunity to make an impact fade away? When did my feelings of "Me, Me, Me" cause me to miss out on something that was destined to inspire real change in my life or the lives of others? Is it possible that I can minimize these unintentional failures and maximize my purpose on a daily basis?
Last week, I was walking into target to pick up some things before work when I came across a shopping center employee diligently picking garbage out of the bushes. Now it is one thing to pick up garbage in the parking lot, but this man was getting every last piece hidden amongst the landscaping. At that moment, I knew why the shopping center where I work was kept so clean. It was his dedication... his attention to detail... his daily devotion to doing his job to the best of his ability.
Instead of walking by this man uninterrupted, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to let him know his work was appreciated. I stopped my brisk walk, looked him in the eye and gave him the most sincere thank you I could possibly offer. After he smiled back with a few nods of his head, I continued on my way into the store delayed by only a few seconds.
Only a few seconds... that was the price that I paid to stop and offer encouragement into the life of this man. It was a very small price to pay considering the overall impact it had that day...
I would hope that it may have made his job just a little easier for the next few hours knowing that his work was appreciated, but I really don't know if it actually made a difference in his day. However, I do know that it changed my day. I would be challenged later during work by some hectic stressful moments and unruly customers... and when I was tempted to give in to the pressure, I remembered that man's face and his dedication which then provided all the inspiration I needed to continue giving my best.
We will be challenged each and every day with what life brings our way. On the other hand, we will also be given opportunities to overcome these challenges in so many different ways that we can not possibly recognize all of them. We must simply open our hearts to the possibility that the next opportunity will be right around the corner and look for ways to act on them when the moment arrives. We must be willing to trade "a few seconds" for the chance at making a lasting impact... that is what will help us avoid unintentional failures and empower us with a greater purpose.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the tide rushes into our world, we must rest assured that the water will recede. It will be then that we will sift through the rubble of what remains... finding remnants of what really matters and build up upon an even stronger foundation solidified by the challenges we faced... and overcame. Text Red Cross to 90999 to donate $10 or click here to read more about how you can donate to other Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Efforts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
When was I so blinded by my selfishness that I let an opportunity to make an impact fade away? When did my feelings of "Me, Me, Me" cause me to miss out on something that was destined to inspire real change in my life or the lives of others? Is it possible that I can minimize these unintentional failures and maximize my purpose on a daily basis?
Last week, I was walking into target to pick up some things before work when I came across a shopping center employee diligently picking garbage out of the bushes. Now it is one thing to pick up garbage in the parking lot, but this man was getting every last piece hidden amongst the landscaping. At that moment, I knew why the shopping center where I work was kept so clean. It was his dedication... his attention to detail... his daily devotion to doing his job to the best of his ability.
Instead of walking by this man uninterrupted, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to let him know his work was appreciated. I stopped my brisk walk, looked him in the eye and gave him the most sincere thank you I could possibly offer. After he smiled back with a few nods of his head, I continued on my way into the store delayed by only a few seconds.
Only a few seconds... that was the price that I paid to stop and offer encouragement into the life of this man. It was a very small price to pay considering the overall impact it had that day...
I would hope that it may have made his job just a little easier for the next few hours knowing that his work was appreciated, but I really don't know if it actually made a difference in his day. However, I do know that it changed my day. I would be challenged later during work by some hectic stressful moments and unruly customers... and when I was tempted to give in to the pressure, I remembered that man's face and his dedication which then provided all the inspiration I needed to continue giving my best.
We will be challenged each and every day with what life brings our way. On the other hand, we will also be given opportunities to overcome these challenges in so many different ways that we can not possibly recognize all of them. We must simply open our hearts to the possibility that the next opportunity will be right around the corner and look for ways to act on them when the moment arrives. We must be willing to trade "a few seconds" for the chance at making a lasting impact... that is what will help us avoid unintentional failures and empower us with a greater purpose.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the tide rushes into our world, we must rest assured that the water will recede. It will be then that we will sift through the rubble of what remains... finding remnants of what really matters and build up upon an even stronger foundation solidified by the challenges we faced... and overcame. Text Red Cross to 90999 to donate $10 or click here to read more about how you can donate to other Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Efforts.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Truth
When thinking of "The Truth", what exactly comes to mind? What role does "The Truth" play in our lives?
Do you think of honesty, integrity and other essential values? How about the importance of these values in defining character? Does it bring to mind instances of enlightenment or does it make you recall heart ache when "The Truth" didn't quite agree with what you thought something should be? Does it make you recall times in the past where "The Truth" may have escaped your understanding along with the corresponding consequences?
No matter what it may be for us individually, I think we can agree that "The Truth" is something we all experience from time to time and continue to expect to discover as we become more mature with age. The overall concept should be something that makes us think about life in general... the path we are on in our journey and the resulting lessons we have been taught through experience.
Therefore as I think more about this concept, I truly believe that we do not learn the truth... we can only feel it.
"The Truth" is not something that can be read in a book or gained through research. It can not be told to us through words. We must develop it through a conscious understanding of our experiences. Only then will it give us the opportunity to embrace what is actually real... and allow us to develop wisdom.
We must take what we encounter in life and use it to arrive closer to where we are supposed to be. Our reactions to "The Truth" is what will matter... they will help us learn more about ourselves and this world that we live in... and get us where we want to be when our day comes.
Even though "The Truth" can be tough, going forward with a positive attitude will give us the best chance to flourish. Life is definitely the greatest challenge we will ever face, but with trust and faith we must continue to move forward as we feel "The Truth" and use it to become the best we can be.
Do you think of honesty, integrity and other essential values? How about the importance of these values in defining character? Does it bring to mind instances of enlightenment or does it make you recall heart ache when "The Truth" didn't quite agree with what you thought something should be? Does it make you recall times in the past where "The Truth" may have escaped your understanding along with the corresponding consequences?
No matter what it may be for us individually, I think we can agree that "The Truth" is something we all experience from time to time and continue to expect to discover as we become more mature with age. The overall concept should be something that makes us think about life in general... the path we are on in our journey and the resulting lessons we have been taught through experience.
Therefore as I think more about this concept, I truly believe that we do not learn the truth... we can only feel it.
"The Truth" is not something that can be read in a book or gained through research. It can not be told to us through words. We must develop it through a conscious understanding of our experiences. Only then will it give us the opportunity to embrace what is actually real... and allow us to develop wisdom.
We must take what we encounter in life and use it to arrive closer to where we are supposed to be. Our reactions to "The Truth" is what will matter... they will help us learn more about ourselves and this world that we live in... and get us where we want to be when our day comes.
Even though "The Truth" can be tough, going forward with a positive attitude will give us the best chance to flourish. Life is definitely the greatest challenge we will ever face, but with trust and faith we must continue to move forward as we feel "The Truth" and use it to become the best we can be.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Monkey Trap
I read a story last week that has spun around in my head causing me to contemplate what it is I am meant to be and how exactly I am destined to get there. It described an ancient Chinese remedy for catching monkeys where coconuts where hollowed out through a small hole just big enough for a little hand and then filled with rice. Once a group of hungry monkeys stumbled upon these irresistible sources of food, they would smell the rice, reach inside and grab it only to find out that their fist full of rice would not fit back out the opening. The monkeys that were unable to let go of the rice would then become the ones that were caught.
This simple trap worked only because the monkey's hunger was in control of its actions. With this very conclusion, I could only take the next step and relate it to my very own life. What exactly is my rice and what is keeping me from opening my grip to let it go?
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and to a degree I am at a loss for an answer... but I feel that finding the answer will lead to freedom from whatever may be holding me back.
As I continue searching for my purpose in this life, this very story will remind me that my hunger cannot be the driving force behind my actions. It must come from a much higher and more meaningful force lacking the selfish tendencies that have proven to be my very own trap.
In my search, I have longed for a consistent joyful happiness fueled by an inescapable rationalization that tomorrow holds the answer. Going forward in this journey, I must live with the urgency that today is the time to find what I have always been looking for out of life. I need to live for a higher power with such dedication that my hunger no longer matters. My search for the person I am meant to be only needs to depend on who I am at this very moment. When I can live for a greater cause my search will make sense. My goals and dreams will have meaning and purpose with trust and faith delivering my true destiny.
I will trust going forward... and stand upon faith with a heart filled with love and my arms held high.
---------------------------------------------------
This simple trap worked only because the monkey's hunger was in control of its actions. With this very conclusion, I could only take the next step and relate it to my very own life. What exactly is my rice and what is keeping me from opening my grip to let it go?
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and to a degree I am at a loss for an answer... but I feel that finding the answer will lead to freedom from whatever may be holding me back.
As I continue searching for my purpose in this life, this very story will remind me that my hunger cannot be the driving force behind my actions. It must come from a much higher and more meaningful force lacking the selfish tendencies that have proven to be my very own trap.
In my search, I have longed for a consistent joyful happiness fueled by an inescapable rationalization that tomorrow holds the answer. Going forward in this journey, I must live with the urgency that today is the time to find what I have always been looking for out of life. I need to live for a higher power with such dedication that my hunger no longer matters. My search for the person I am meant to be only needs to depend on who I am at this very moment. When I can live for a greater cause my search will make sense. My goals and dreams will have meaning and purpose with trust and faith delivering my true destiny.
I will trust going forward... and stand upon faith with a heart filled with love and my arms held high.
---------------------------------------------------
It's not everyday that something inspires us to look deeply into who we are... and even more why we are. When those moments happen, what is it that makes it so incredibly meaningful that it is remembered for the rest of our days? How can that something touch us in such a way that it can forever change our path and ultimately redefine who we will become?
You matter... no matter what happens... you will always matter.
Praise God.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A New Creation in Christ
A New Creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 4:1-6:2)
This world that we live in definitely brings one test after another challenging us to become the amazing creation God had in mind when we were formed. However, it is completely up to us to make the decision to pursue it. Deep in my heart and soul, I feel that we have all been given everything we need to get where we were meant to be. We must listen and obey in order to accomplish our purpose and carry forward the message that lives in the death of Jesus.
Sit and think about the following for a moment:
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
When we feel like quitting... when we get frustrated... when we get angry... when we question going forward... we place our faith ahead of our flesh remembering that "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." We are living a temporary assignment away from home and work to please God so that when it is our time to be with him we can confidently await the promise of heaven.
We must recognize that our sins will not be held against us. We become a new creation when we accept Christ as our Savior. We become reconciled to God. "I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation."
As I read these passages today, I could not help but to think about how God's mercy has allowed me to arrive exactly where I am. It became clear to me that I must take the light shining in my heart and help others find it too. I am fully able to "Let light shine out of darkness." I was helped to find the glory of God through the face of Christ and am determined to help others also find this saving grace.
When I think back over the past two years of my life, I see a transformation that has reformed who I am and what I stand for on a daily basis. It amazes me how a desperate honest conversation with God guided me to becoming a new creation in Christ forever changing the rest of my time spent in this world and therefore eternity.
The once dark, sick and isolated world of my life has become filled with hope relentlessly bright and shining with love from every angle. I trust obediently and through that trust I am provided with all that I need to experience the joy I was meant to receive to bring glory to God. I am so grateful and invite all of you to join me in pursuing God's will living with this dedication at the forefront of our actions.
This world that we live in definitely brings one test after another challenging us to become the amazing creation God had in mind when we were formed. However, it is completely up to us to make the decision to pursue it. Deep in my heart and soul, I feel that we have all been given everything we need to get where we were meant to be. We must listen and obey in order to accomplish our purpose and carry forward the message that lives in the death of Jesus.
Sit and think about the following for a moment:
"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
When we feel like quitting... when we get frustrated... when we get angry... when we question going forward... we place our faith ahead of our flesh remembering that "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." We are living a temporary assignment away from home and work to please God so that when it is our time to be with him we can confidently await the promise of heaven.
We must recognize that our sins will not be held against us. We become a new creation when we accept Christ as our Savior. We become reconciled to God. "I tell you, now is the time of God's favor, now is the day of salvation."
As I read these passages today, I could not help but to think about how God's mercy has allowed me to arrive exactly where I am. It became clear to me that I must take the light shining in my heart and help others find it too. I am fully able to "Let light shine out of darkness." I was helped to find the glory of God through the face of Christ and am determined to help others also find this saving grace.
When I think back over the past two years of my life, I see a transformation that has reformed who I am and what I stand for on a daily basis. It amazes me how a desperate honest conversation with God guided me to becoming a new creation in Christ forever changing the rest of my time spent in this world and therefore eternity.
The once dark, sick and isolated world of my life has become filled with hope relentlessly bright and shining with love from every angle. I trust obediently and through that trust I am provided with all that I need to experience the joy I was meant to receive to bring glory to God. I am so grateful and invite all of you to join me in pursuing God's will living with this dedication at the forefront of our actions.
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